WorkShop Retell
Early Morning, Jacob was helping his mother stack firewood. Au Sum came along selling Bok Choy, alone, in the small chinese village." I don't know how you can eat that 'muck'", said Mrs Bishop. When Au Sum travelled by selling his Bok Choy. Mrs Bishop was a lady who live next door to Jacob and his family, they lived in the middle of the little chinese village. Mrs Bishop didn't know how to control her words. She thought it was bad to be different to others.
Au Sum could here Jacob still sneering and had a sudden urge to go fishing and to leave the firewood. He wanted to get away from Mrs Bishop.
It only took one moment for the river to steal him. While Jacob sunk down the river Au Sum had got hold of Jacob's arm hardly. Au Sum tried hard to save his life. Soon enough Au sum had been able to pull Jacob onto the soft grass, on his back. Au Sum took Jacob to the hut. The next thing Jacob knew, that he was in a darkened hut, next to the hot steaming fire.
Jacob's mum soon entered the door of the hut. Au Sum greeted her, and told her all about what had happened. " Are you okay Jacob"? Said The Mother. " I'm okay Mother", siad Jacob in a soft voice. Jacob took his Mothers hand and the pair walked out of the dark hut. As they walked along the gravel path, the two of the came across Mrs Bishop. Mrs Bishop said" a lot of bad things about Au Sum, but Jacob and his mother just said good things. Mrs Bishop could never understand how people are different.
The End
Hi Betsy. I like how you remembered all your capitol letters and full stops. One thing you could change is that when you listen to something it is spelt hear and when you want someone to come it is spelt here. Did you like learning about Bok Choy? Charlotte
ReplyDeleteKia Ora Betsy,
ReplyDeleteI like how you have made it readable and you have added full stops and capital letters. This reminds me of what happens in the story Bok Choy. Here goes a question. Did you know me and you have some of the same sentences. I wish before you started writing your retail you told us why you had done a blog post about Bok Choy.
Kyla-Rose